The George Mitchell Scholarship changed my life. My trip to Ireland in the Spring of 2010 changed the way I view myself and the way I view the world. I not only got to explore a gorgeous country but I also met amazing people. These people changed the way I view friendship and even the way I see myself. Being in a different country pushed the limits of what I could do and pushed me toward things I had never thought of doing. Ireland was, in many ways, a renewal for me. I was feeling frustrated with my energy level, out of place due to having been gone from college on my medical leave, and in a relationship that was stagnating. Getting on that plane for my first ever flight to move to another country may have seemed crazy but I just can't imagine what life would be like if I hadn't taken that leap of faith.
The first amazing thing that happened in Ireland was meeting Breige. I had known Breige online for years but we weren't especially close. When I made plans to meet up with her so she could show me around town and help me find places to buy pillows, a fan, and a heating pad I had no idea the friendship that was waiting for me. I was feeling overwhelmed and sitting in Mc Donald's on the corner of Patrick Street with my usual chocolate milkshake when I met my future best friend. We spent the rest of that day shopping and spent as much time together as we could while I was in Ireland. For two people who had never talked much it was like we couldn't shut up. It felt like we had known each other our entire lives. We never had awkward moments and for the first time in my life I could say I had a true friend. Having just lost a lot of my friends during my fight against cancer it felt good to be close friends with someone again. But more than that, I feel like I finally have a friendship that will last. Ocean or not we still talk almost every single day. She is the reason I recently bought speech to text software. I have far too much to say to rely on neuropathy hands to communicate with Breige! But on the topic of communication, I don't think I could ever communicate to anyone what a gift our friendship has been. Breige restored my faith in friendship. She showed me that true friends may be hard to find but they are worth the wait and worth traveling anywhere to find.
Ireland helped me out of a relationship that hadn't gone anywhere and wasn't going to. I should have ended the relationship sooner but hadn't managed to. I've always hated breakups and kept putting it off. What should have been the straw that broke the camel's back didn't even push me over the edge. I guess in the back of my mind I knew as soon as I left the country it would be over. I remember saying goodbye to his cat and sobbing my heart out because I knew I wouldn't see her again. Corny as it sounds I suppose my heart knew what my mind hadn't realized yet. I was halfway over the Atlantic I realized that I could, and would, make the break. Knowing that I had won this once in a lifetime chance to study abroad and all that was ahead of me I realized how stupid it was for me to settle. Was he a horrible monster? No, but he also wasn't right for me. The breakup isn't the significant part of this story (although I do still miss that cat very much). Even though it is embarrassing to realize, it took being over the ocean and headed to another country to tip my self-esteem back where it should be. I've always been confident and gone after what I wanted but too much time wishing and wanting only to be healthy again had destroyed my image of myself. My confidence started rebuilding in economy class and kept growing in the months that followed.
I cannot talk about Ireland without talking about how it gave me an insane love for traveling. Each weekend I would hop on a bus and travel to a different part of the country. I explored the most amazing places. Each lovely little town was so rich with history. I also took a trip with my mother over to England and realized that ferry travel is not my thing. But London was so gorgeous and realizing that I could see all of these places I have read about and studied was incredible. The Tower of London took me breath away. I almost cried to be standing in the places that Anne Boleyn had stood. I love our country but the history in Europe is astonishing. I'm not sure how many small towns in Ireland I traveled to but there was always something worth seeing. Traveling around Ireland and England made me realize how much of the world there is to see and just how badly I want to see it. If I hadn't gone to Ireland I would have thought about going to Europe but I don't think I would have made the dreams a reality.
Thinking of all that Ireland gave me and continues to give me amazes me. I can barely scratch the surface of all the ways that going there changed my life. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. It was exhausting but it was worth every second. I don't know what my life would be right now if I hadn't won that scholarship. I knew going there was a once in a lifetime chance but I had no idea how many positive changes it would make in my life.
"(although I do still miss that cat very much)."
ReplyDeleteNice throwaway line, mean in exactly the right funny way that takes the sting out.
The whole piece has the same quality of surefootedness I note in that throwaway line. It may have taken you a million hours to write it, but there are no signs of strain, struggle, false starts, dead ends, abandoned ideas, second thoughts, and so on--all the things that writers sometimes leave behind that indicate their troubled writing process.
This, as I say, has none of that bad stuff, and is, on the contrary, simple, straightforward, crystal clear, personal, controlled.
The only negative is in graf 4 where you use amazing, incredible, rich, gorgeous, breath away, and so on to avoid offering a bit of detailing.